Chuck Norris was famously raised without parents - he was raised in fact, by his own penis.

It is one of those common misconceptions that well endowed individuals are hung like horses, but this phrase originated from the fact that a differential level was needed to describe a category suitable for one man's penis, and one man's penis only. That man was Chuck Norris, hereby crowned as the man all horses envy when it comes to the saddle department. 

If people used to be hung drawn and quartered, Chuck Norris's penis could be hung drawn and sixteenth. The man has more meat than a butcher's at Christmas or an abattoir with the power out. 

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